Friday, March 28, 2014

Engagement Rings: I'm with Johnny Depp

So Johnny Deep is engaged and his "man-gagement" ring is getting a lot of press. I think it's interesting that people are so fascinated by this twist on the tradition. One of the things I love most about weddings and the events that go along with them is that people feel free to adjust traditions to create really personal experiences. And besides, my husband wore an engagement ring...so maybe I'm biased.

First off, I'm all for people following traditions if that is what they want and enjoy. But personally, I am not comfortable with the "typical" engagement traditions. I have trouble with the idea of the man being expected to be the one to propose. It creates a picture of a woman waiting around for the man to dictate the relationship. I think it is becoming more and more common for woman to propose, and I like that trend. D and I talked about getting married before we got engaged, and it was something we decided together. Since a marriage is supposed to be a partnership, I felt that was a good way to start out.

I also told D I did not want an engagement ring. I don't wear much jewelry, and the jewelry I do wear is small and subtle so the idea of a special fancy ring just didn't feel natural to me. Additionally, since D and I would soon be sharing finances it felt fiscally irresponsible to spend money on something I wouldn't really appreciate. Then the question of a modest ring came up, and I decided that also didn't feel natural. Much like the concept of the traditional proposal, I didn't like that just a woman is supposed to wear an engagement ring. Why did I need to advertize that I was "taken" but my future-husband didn't? It felt too lopsided. But we did want to acknowledge our engage somehow, so we decided to both get simple engagement bands.

If other people out there did something different let me know! It would nice to know that I'm not the only one resisting the traditional :)

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