When a community disappoints

Do you follow Courtney Adamo's instagram account? It's one of my favorites. I don't personally know Courtney but she is a founder of Babyccino Kids and a mother of 4 living in London. She has a completely lovely life that she captures beautifully in photos. She is one of those people that makes everything look so easy and joyful which is inspiring for a working mom like myself.

Well, her and her husband have been dealing with something troubling over the last week or so and it's been on my mind a lot. Courtney has over 40k followers on instagram. She uses instagram a lot to share her life, make recommendations, and connect with the community of women and moms that she has formed there. But recently someone has started reporting her posts for inappropriate content. This continued until finally her account was deactivated with no warning. Her supporters contacted instagram and used #bringbackcourtneybabyccino to get the issue noticed. It seemed to work since yesterday her account was brought back and it looked like the drama was thankfully over. But then Courtney said today that she is still receiving complaints and now her husband is also having his images reported and removed.

I'm upset for Courtney and her family, but I think this brings up larger issues about being a parent in the modern parenting community. Parents are one group that has really embraced technology and social media. I think it is because it's so easy to be isolated as a parent. You're busy getting through your day and taking care of yourself and your kids and your house. It's harder to get together with friends or have a phone call with family. So social media lets us connect during nap time, or after the kid is asleep, or during those few minutes we're alone in the bathroom. It's certainly been useful for me. Through instagram and blogs I've had access to a lot of parenting recommendations and useful conversations that I benefit from almost every day. There are real communities out there via the current technology and I'm glad to be a part of it.

But, when we open ourselves up to everyone it means that we are also vulnerable. Even if the majority of people who "follow" us are positive and encouraging it only takes one negative person to bring things down. That is what is happening to Courtney. Courtney shares a lot of photos of her kids. Some of them are of adorable naked little butts. Most are not. But if a nude rear does show it is in celebration of freedom and childhood. Nothing inappropriate about that to me. And if it did bother me, I would just un-follow her. But, it seems someone wants to put their standards on Courtney. They want to report her images of her children which is putting their standards on a woman I assume they don't even personally know. While it sounds like there are a number of images reported the one that really sparked this debate is at the top of this post. A picture of a toddler excited to be wearing big-girl undies. To me, I see absolutely nothing wrong with this image. It shows a glorious baby belly. It captures a sweet moment. It represents a milestone. It's a lovely thing. That someone wants to turn this into something offensive or "harmful" feels mean and aggressive. It feels like someone's personal vendetta to impose their morals on a community they aren't fully a part of.

I know it's hard for a tool like instagram to find the balance between being an open tool that can survive on it's own energy, and putting guidelines in place. I'm sure it works 99% of the time. But this time instagram is failing. Instragram allowed a community to flourish but is now letting one person take down that community. I hope instagram will take a look at this incident and use it to help them make their processes better. Until then, I'm routing for Courtney and her family! Save the belly!

Image via (though it has since been taken down again).

Social Media

Social media is everywhere. It's a big part of how we communicate now and when used right, has a lot of advantages. But there are so many different services it can be hard to navigate. I'm not an early adopter so I'm usually a little late to the bandwagon. I want to make sure something is going to stick before I devote time to it. But at this moment I feel good about my social media commitments and I think I have it down. Here is how I use social media*:

Instagram: I decided to join Instagram after a trip to New York a few years ago. I was hanging out with my two fabulous friends who were snapping and Instagraming like crazy. They made it seem fun and easy so I thought I'd jump on the band wagon. I instantly loved it. As a visual person I enjoy that it's picture based. And because of the relatively strict structure (only a picture with maybe a comment) it's a clean interface. You get a window into people's lives, or at least how they want their lives to look. It's also the first time I've really followed people on social media who I didn't know personally. I use it to share little moments in my life that feel poignant. Maybe it's my baby taking a nap. Maybe it's a man and his dog looking into a gallery window. As most of my day is staring at my computer screen so I don't post a lot, but I like having this venue to share these moment and see what other people are experiencing.

Facebook: I like to keep my Facebook and Instagram separate as I find it confusing if I have the same pictures on both. So while Instagram is for moments, Facebook is for updates. At this point it's almost a practical thing. I have a lot of friends and family that are spread out all over the world and Facebook is how we keep up with what everyone has going on. It allows me to share Pepper updates with Drew's parents who are in Michigan, or her god-parents in London. It's a way I can learn about someone getting a new job or having another baby. And I've recently come to enjoy how people share interesting articles there too. I don't post often, and I've unfortunate become one of those people who just posts pics of their baby, but people seem to enjoy them!

Pinterest: My most recent social media venture, and I like it. I'm an online shopper and always struggled to bookmark things I'd find that I liked but wasn't ready (and will probably never) purchase. Not I can bookmark them! And get suggestions from other people! And search for recipes! Basically it's another great visual way to share things, but this time it's sharing things you find on the internet. Since I spend most of my time online it's become a wonderfully useful tool.

Twitter: I resisted Twitter for a long time. D got on it last year and kept encouraging me to try it. I finally did in order to get updates from a local charter school that was opening up. But, I don't really enjoy it or find it useful. I find that I get the updates and access to people I want through other social media channels. So it ends up just feeling redundant. I have an account, but I never post, and I hardly ever look at it.

In a nutshell: I love Instagram and Pinterest, Facebook feels necessary, and Twitter is not my thing. How do you use your social media? Is there something about Twitter I'm just not getting?

*Right now this is limited to personal use, not for work or business.

Image via.

The technology balance

I'm always trying to find the right balance of technology in my life. And now that I have the Pepper, being balanced in my technology use feels crucial since I know I'm now modeling behavior for her. It comes up a lot for D and I. When the Pepper is playing on her play mat, I could quickly check instagram, but what I know is good for me (and her) is to sit there and be in the moment. And what about photos? When should I enjoy the experience and when should I get my phone and take a photo to remember it by?

This recent article made me think of something I heard George Clooney say in an interview. He was talking about how fan interactions have changed over the last decade or so. Before, what fans wanted to have with him was an interaction. They wanted to shake his hand, have him acknowledge them, speak to him. These days, what fans want is to snap a picture. They have a short period of time to have a moment with one of their favorite celebrities, and they spend it trying to get the best camera-phone pic. And to me, that seems to be a lot less than a real memory.

I hate to admit that I have to work to prioritize real experiences over the virtual ones waiting for me on my phone or computer. I hate to admit how addicting that instant gratification of a new post on facebook or a comment on instagram is. But I try and I mostly succeed in finding a balance I'm comfortable with. Because I know its important. Not only for myself but as an example for my little one. As technology continues to change though it could get harder and harder. I just need to remember to be in the moment.

I can't figure out where this awesome photo of Charles and Ray Eames is  from. If anyone knows please drop me a note.