Backyard tea party

My mom got C a tea set for Christmas and I'm impressed with how much use it gets during playtime. I wonder what it is about having tea that little girls seem to love recreating over and over again. Is it the ritual of setting everything up? Or feeling like a "big girl" who drinks tea and chats with friends? Whatever it is, it's adorable. This little tea party was just us girls but other typical participants include her T-Rex stuffed doll.

It's 2016 and we're back!

It's a new year, we have a new addition to family, and we are in a new home. I want to start sharing some of our life here again so here are some scenes from life recently. Above is D and C doing one of my favorite things: singing and playing the guitar together.

We bought a combo bike trailer and stroller for the girls because we can now walk to and from their daycare. They both love the idea of riding together and get excited but about 10 minutes in one is crying or screaming so it's a work in progress.

 These two...

These are pics from Mother's Day. It was just a typical Sunday because those are my favorite days anyway. We went to the Farmer's Market, got lunch, took a nap. Perfect. And the breastfeeding one because no shame!

C is so into dress-up. I really didn't buy her a lot of "girlie" things at first as it wasn't my thing as a young girl, but she loves it and now I find myself getting her princess everything.

 

 My family. I love them so. And we all love our swurfer :)

Unusually excited about growing my own herbs

The above picture isn't the prettiest but I wanted to share it because I am unexpectedly excited about my tiny growing basil plants! I've been wanting to grow my own herbs for a long time but in our loft in LA there just wasn't the right place to do it. We didn't have a sunny window sill for pots and I wasn't prepared to get crafty and build some amazing at-home herb tower like some of my friends did. But, now that we are in a new home I have the perfect kitchen window sill. I bought these pots, this soil, and these seeds. I started off slow: I planted some basil and parley seeds and anxiously waited to see if anything woudl happen. Within days I had adorable little basil shoots! The parsely took longer but yesterday I saw my first little parsley plant poke up from the soil. I'm thrilled.

So now I've also planted some mint and some cilantro and I'm obsessively watching to see how tings develop. I've always hated purchasing herbs because I feel I can never buy the portion I actually want or need. Growing my own feels economical, and it was surprisingly easy. If all goes well with these first four I'm going to want to expand my little garden (though I know D will have a problem if pots start taking over his kitchen).

Anyone have any tips for indoor herb growing?

Picture of my little basil plants

Life hack: adult bean bags

Moving into a house from a loft meant we had rooms for the first time, which meant we needed to get some new furniture. We have a family challenge though: D is allergic to dust (well technically dust mites) which means we need to avoid having items in our home that would collect dusk. So we don't have rugs for example and our couch is in leather. And it works out ok but having some softer items around would be nice. We were at a friend's house awhile ago and the Pepper was having such a good time rolling aorund on their dog beds. I realized it was because she didn't have a lot of soft squishy things to play on at home! Poor girl.

This got me thinking: at our new place we need bean bags! And they would be better for Drew's allergies than items filled with cotton or down! Brilliant! D then found this great company that makes nice looking bean bag couches and huge pillows. Feeling excited we bought three items for our new place: the love seat (pictured above) to put in the Pepper's room for reading books at night before bed, and two pillows for the new den area for lounging around. They arrived yesterday and we already love them so much. My younger brother was visiting for the evening and I was worried he was going to steal the love seat in the middle of the night. D is even talking about wanting to get the 7-foot couch so he can really spread out.

These were such a great purchase for us and totally worth the money. If you want some nice looking lounge-y furniture I highly recommend them!

We made it! (just barely)

We're in our new place in beautiful Ojai! And my assessment right now is that moving is stressful and we're exhausted. In retrospect I probably should have taken a day or two off of work. But wanting to maintain those precious vacation days we decided that D would handle the move while I worked and helped whenever I could. But this made the week completely non-stop. When I wasn't working or taking care of the Pepper I was unpacking or organizing or assembling. We unpacked the Pepper's things first which was the right call to make. But it meant that our things were in boxes for days which was a bit hard. I think there is an emotional toll taken to living out of boxes and feeling like things are chaotic and temporary. There is for me anyway. Plus there is just a lot of change happening and I think I haven't had time to process it. Moving out of downtown is a bug deal for our family, including all the repercussions like our little girl starting daycare. I find myself having emotions bubble up throughout the day but I don't have time to sit with them I have to move on to the next thing. I'm looking forward to having some time this weekend to reflecting on our life as it is now and processing all the feelings I have about it.

But there is a lot of good news too! We are so happy to be in such a beautiful place and in such a lovely home. We are lucky to be where we are. We're thrilled that the Pepper now has her own room which means we can finally talk in normal voices after she goes to bed. I'm so happy to have a dedicated office space where I can do my work. Our little girl seems very happy happy here too, and the transition into daycare is going better than we expected. And though this is a new town for us we already have great friends here who invite us to wonderful dinner parties and give us open invitations to use their pools.

We've definitely embarked on a new adventure, and like any adventure it is exciting and scary. Lots to take in. Lots to think about. But luckily, lots to enjoy.

Image from my Instagram. View from my new home office :)

It's moving week!

It's moving week! You may remember from this post that we are going to do an experiment and move to the country. Things are a bit different than we had planned in terms of the logistics of renting our place and such, but we're moving forward with the relocation. We can only look ahead 6 months but that should be enough time for us to get our feet wet in a new town and see if it's something we can do long term. D has started bringing in boxes and today I'm going to start packing our things away and it's really exciting! I love the opportunity to go through our stuff and do a little purge. Moving is always a great opportunity to streamline :)

I'm feeling ready to have a break from downtown. Even though I've loved living here, lately I've been feeling much less comfortable. For example, over the last few weeks the number of sirens has at least doubled. This not only means a lot more disruptive noise but also just makes me wonder what all the emergencies are. It doesn't help there there was a scary incident just blocks form us recently. When the Pepper and I walked by a guy peeing on a tree in the middle of the afternoon the other day, I knew I was ready for a change.

But there are things I'm nervous about. Ojai is only a couple hours drive from LA and we are hoping our friends come to visit, but I'm nervous they won't. I'm anxious the commute will be hard on D. And I'm feeling worried about the transition to daycare for the Pepper. I know she will love the daycare. I think she's ready for it. And we feel really good about the place we've selected. But I just worry that the transition will be difficult for her. It will be very new. She's always had one of us around and has always been at home. She's such a happy and open little girl I don't want to change that. I don't want this transition to be scary for her or to make her distrust new things. D has agreed to spend some time next week with her at the daycare to help ease her in, and our wonderful friend and nanny will also visit during the week. So I'm hoping we have a good approach and we'll get over the hump successfully.

What has surprised me most about this move is the amount of new things we have to think about. We're moving from a loft to house and that means I need to get things like a baby monitor and child safety gates. And we need a lunch box for the Pepper to take to daycare and a chair or couch for the Pepper's room. We're trying to maintain our minimalist lifestyle but turns out living in a house requires a bit more stuff. I know there is more that I don't even realize I need so it will be a learning experience.

Onwards to new and exciting things!

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How much sleep do you get?

How much sleep do you get? Most week nights I get about 6 hours which are occasionally interrupted by the little one having a bad dream or something. That's not a lot. I've been feeling a bit burnt out recently and by the end of my work day I'm mentally exhausted. I'm thinking it's at least partly the result of mild sleep deprivation. Of course this is expected since I am the parent of a small child. And I know I have it better than many parents (one poor mom I know has a 9-month-old and hasn't slept for more than 2 hours in a stretch since his birth). But I still worry that I'm not getting the sleep I need to perform at the level I want to be at both personally and professionally. But how do I change it??

My company is based in Cleveland so I actually work East Coast hours. This means I get up a bit  before 6am and get right to work. In the evenings, after we've but the Pepper to bed D and I tidy up, have some adult conversation, and then try to watch a little media (right now we're watching Orange is the New Black). This is of course important time to snuggle on the couch, connect, and decompress from the day. But once that is done and I've gotten ready for bed (washed my face, brushed my teeth) it's pretty late and I end up falling asleep between 11:30pm-midnight, though usually closer to the midnight side of things. I do "sleep-in" one day on the weekends, which of course means I wake up whenever the Pepper gets up. So that buys we an extra hour of sleep or so. And I also try to schedule in at least 1 weekend nap with my baby. These are helpful but I still think I'm working with a deficit.

To could get more sleep if I went to bed earlier. But then I'd need to cut into our adult time at night and I don't want to because I enjoy that time and it's good for my mental health. So, I guess I'm just going to have to work with what I have. I know it won't be like this forever and one day I will be able to catch up on my sleep. I'm excited for that day :)

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What does your partnership look like?

A family is like a team and every family I know manages the roles and responsibilities of their team differently. These days anything goes, it's about what works. But of course our histories and family of origin have an impact on what we expect from our home life. I've been thinking about that since I read this article about how woman who grow up in households where the dad participates in the housework are more ambitious in their careers. I guess I'm one of those women. Both of my parents worked. My mom was lucky to be able to be with me for the full first year of my life, but after that she continued working as a psychologist and pursued her PhD in psychology. I had wonderful nannies, and then a great preschool I still have fond memories of. But I also saw my dad at home a lot. He worked as a camera-man and editor and he did his editing out of a home office. His schedule was therefore flexible. I remember him cooking dinner. He would sew up rips in my clothes. He helped me with my homework. And he also worked in this cool room with large screens and a computer and I would go in there and watch him cut and type. I guess I saw him do everything. And I saw my mom do everything too.

And without even consciously choosing to turns out that is the situation I have now with my husband. We both work, and we both take care of the household. We've fallen into certain habits that makes the system efficient. For example, I'll write up the grocery list and then D will get the groceries. He'll do the dishes in the morning and start the dishwasher and I'll unload the dishwasher in the afternoon. But we both cook (depending on who feels like they have the most time that day). We'll both do laundry. We'll both clean (or we sometimes treat ourselves to a cleaning service). It works for us. I know other families have other situations. Luckily I work from home so I can take a 10 minute break during the day to make the bed. And D works for himself so he has the ability go grocery shopping in the middle of the day. It's a constant dance but luckily we do have the ability to fit things in when we need them to get done. And I am constantly thankful that I have a partner in this and that we can work as a team.

How did the family you grew up in effect how you have structured your current family? What works for you and what doesn't?

And on a separate but related note, this is an interesting piece about the sometimes negative effects of societies preference for two-parent households. Worth a read.

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Finding mental space

This week has been a busy work week for me. There has been a lot of meetings and timelines and deadlines and items that we need to be moved forward. At this point in my career I'm good with organization and prioritization. I have my days organized with what I need to accomplish. I have the needed chucks of time set aside in my calendar. I know what needs to be done when and what can wait until next week. But I do struggle when I get to that point in a day when I feel fried; when my mind needs a rest and I'm having trouble putting thoughts together. And I don't have good solutions for how to take the needed break and reset. I like the idea of going someplace and sitting quietly without a screen in front of me. But living in a loft makes it hard to find space. Sometimes I like to cook but when it's a busy day I don't have time to take on a little kitchen project. Do I take a walk? Do I read a few pages in a book? Do I go to the couch and close my eyes for 5 minutes? When I'm burnt out it's hard to even know how to handle it. Normally I take a moment to stand up and put my head between my legs let the blood rush. It seems to help but it's not quite cutting it this week. I need a new approach.

I'm hoping that with our move to Ojai I'll be able to more easily step outside and look at a pretty view and recharge that way. But please send suggestions my way for how you take a moment to give your mind a break when it's reached a saturation point.

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Thinking about my dream office

With our upcoming move I'm starting to get excited about one of the biggest changes to our lives: I'll finally have a work space! I work at home and right now and because we're in a loft that means I work at our dining room table. I manage it in various ways but it's started to feel harder and harder. Luckily my husband has agreed that finding a place that will allow me an office is a priority (thank you D!) and I can't wait. I don't know yet what my office space will be like or how big it will be but I have a couple of ideas:

• I really want to decorate my office space with a little whimsy. D and I are pretty aligned in our styles so it's been easy for us to decorate our home. But I do enjoy more adornment than he does and I think my office will be where I can decorate to my liking. I love the idea of having fun accents around that will amuse me or lighten my mood on stressful days. I definitely want to get a fun vase like this fox or this couple to keep flowers in.
• I want to improve my ergonomics. Right now I sit on our dining room chairs and while I do move around throughout the day I know it can't be good for my back. I'm various curious about standing desks since I know people who swear by them (one person said they work very efficiently because they are standing so you don't want to waste a moment!). But I also don't know if I'd actually like it. The other thing I'd like to try is using a yoga ball as a chair in order to "active site" and engage those important core muscles.
• I'm on a lot of calls where I need to listen but not necessary participate (like project demos). I find that I need something to occupy my hands while on these calls so that I can actually listen and not start daydreaming. Someone told me that coloring books is a good way to give yourself something easy to do in order to keep your mind focused on more important and complex stuff. I love this idea so much that I definitely want to get something like this and a set of colored pencils to doodle with while I work. I guess I could do this now but I don't have places to keep anything so I try to have as little work paraphernalia as possible. Once I have my own designated area I'll feel free to expand my footprint a little bit.

More than anything, I think having a separate office at home will give me the space I need to work efficiently and effectively. Not just the physical space but the mental space. A place with no distractions. A place that is my own. A place where my mind can focus on the task at hand. I'm looking forward to it!

Anyone have any suggestions on how they have made working t home easier for them?

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Is there room for a pet in our lives?

I met D because of his adorable rescue pit bull Buster. It was Buster's friendliness and charm that make me strike up a conversation with the man at the tab next to mine. D recalls that the first words I ever said to him was: "Hey, is this your dog?". Well, it was. And getting together with D and becoming a part of his life meant that Buster became a part of mine. Thankfully Buster welcomed me into the pack and it was the three of us for many years.

We're going to do it!

I've mentioned it before but D and I have been thinking about the best place for us as our family grows. We love downtown and it's been a wonderful place to become parents. But we're growing out of our loft. I need a better space to work. D and I would like a bedroom all our own. And it would be nice to have more outdoor space for the Pepper to run around in.

So we're going to try something! This summer we're are going to move to Ojai. Yup, we're going to make a change. But we know it's a big enough change that it's worth us doing a little test run. We're going rent out our place and rent a place up there and see how the first year goes. The biggest challenge with the move will be that D will need to do the 2-hour drive to LA a few times a week. Not ideal. But we also don't know how often he will need to do it. And we're hoping the benefits of living in a beautiful nature-oriented place will be worth it.

Right now the most exciting thing to me is the Ojai daycare we've chosen for the little one. It has so much wonderful outdoor space. And with that space they are able to have a little garden where they grow vegetables. Plus they have animals there! They have goats, chickens, rabbits, tortoises, and a baby mini-pig and the kids get to play and help take care of the animals. So wonderful. And there is no wait-list! Such a change from Los Angeles.

I'm anxious about the move. The logistics will be a lot to deal with though luckily D has offered to take point with a lot of that stuff. I also know I am going to miss a lot of things about our life right now. I will miss the loft that we worked so hard to get just right. I will miss being able to walk everywhere. I will really miss being located so close to a lot of our friends. 

But, it's on to a new adventure! Fingers crossed that it all works out.

Image from my Instagram of our last trip to Ojai.

What's your favorite home remedy?

 

I'm having bad allergies right now. Or maybe it's a cold, I can't tell. There has been a heat wave in Los Angeles which has made the air really dry. Plus we've had some serious winds. Mix these two things together and you get a lot of bad stuff whooshing through the air and into my nostrils. I get allergies occasionally so that's what I assumed it was. But all the anti-histamine medication I've taken hasn't done a thing and my head is sooooo stuffy it's hard to think. Therefore sadly, I think this may actually be a cold. Damn.

For no particular reason I resist taking medication when I am sick. My husband is always trying to get me to take something and more often than not these days I give-in. And then of course I feel better and wonder why I was so resistant in the first place. But there is one home remedy I also rely on: a nice hot toddy. This is my mom's recipe and something she made for me as a teenager when I was sick or had cramps. You squeeze the juice of one lemon into a mug, add a tablespoon of honey, and about a tablespoon of brandy or whiskey. Then fill the mug with boiling water. Enjoy hot. Apparently the citrus gives you vitamin C, the heat helps loosen up all the yucky stuff in your sinuses and throat, and the alcohol is enough to make you feel a bit better without being so much that it messes with your immune system. I highly recommend it for when you have a cold, especially as a drink to enjoy before going to bed. And for a non-alcoholic version, just skip the alcohol! It's still really yummy with just the lemon and honey.

Any favorite home recipes? Do you have an alternate toddy recipe you recommend I try?

Image via. Their recipe calls for a tea bag but I've never found I needed to add tea.

Kitchen helpers

Seeing Jordan's great pantry renovation made me think of the things we've done to improve out kitchen. We don't have a big space so we haven't done anything major, but we've made some small additions that have helped us navigate our kitchen.

Once we had the Pepper we started eating at home much more, and it made me realize our kitchen was not very efficient. The first thing we did was along the lines of what Jordan did in her pantry: got nice jars to use for dry food storage. Before, we had a bunch of bags stored in other zip lock bags piled on top of each other and it was hard to find anything. Now that we've implemented the jars things are more visible and therefore easy to find. I added simple white labels on the lids too since our pantry is long and dark and I can't always see the contents of the jars. It has also helped me know what I have so I don't keep buying whole walnuts.

Another item that has helped our kitchen efficiency: a salad spinner. I can't believe we went so long without having one. Especially now that we often get lettuce in our CSA it's been essential to be able to throw together a quick salad. And eating salads is something that should have no barriers.

But, the best thing we did to making cooking easier was get a Spice Organizer. I had dreams of cool and creative ways to store spices. I imagined having a great looking metal wall with all the spices in magnetic containers lined up neatly. But the reality was that we just couldn't do any big overhaul so I bought this straightforward version that would fit into one of our cupboards, and it's amazing. I can actually see what spices I have and I can find them easily. I use it every day and every day I am thankful for it.

Any other suggestions on small changes to make kitchen's and pantries more efficient?

Image via. I love these hanging baskets but not sure they would work in our current place.

City Mouse or Country Mouse?

I've been having fantasies about moving into a place with actual rooms and maybe even a yard. I'd love an office, I'd like to be able to do dishes at night after the Pepper goes to sleep, it would be nice to have some grass to play on. But, right now we are in a loft in the middle of an urban area. So, to combat my longings I've been reminding myself of all the great things about living in a loft in downtown Los Angeles:

• Family time: D and I both work a lot so it is nice that when we are all home together we're actually all together. Since we have no real rooms dividing up our space, if one of us is cooking or folding laundry we can still participate in the playing or the book reading. Even though we are growing out of this place, it has been nice to have that intimacy and proximity while the Pepper was so little.
• Less upkeep: Having a small space meant that it was necessary for D and I to limit the amount of baby stuff we had (actually, all the stuff we have!). This is maybe one of the best things we could have done. We weren't overwhelmed by the baby gear, and it wasn't hard to keep the place somewhat tidy during those crazy newborn months. We're still a fan of keeping things simple and I hope that if we do move to a house some day we can maintain our minimalist lifestyle.
• Access: We can access so many things so easily. We have 3 parks in walking distance from us, we can easily take a bus to places like the Natural History Museum, and there are lots of restaurants and stores just blocks away. Even though we don't have a lot of space of our own, it's so easy for us to go outside I never feel trapped (and the California weather helps with that too). One of my new favorite things to do on a weekend morning is get up with the Pepper, walk to a local 24/hr restaurant to have breakfast, and then walk down the street to one of the little local parks. We can go for as long or as short as we want because going out isn't that much of an investment (we just need to get our shoes and sweaters on and go!). Plus, if I realize we're out of milk or need more bananas for the Pepper's breakfast I just need to walk a block, something I've often done in my pajamas.
• Neighbors: My favorite thing about being downtown is the people. Everywhere we've lived downtown we've really gotten to know our neighbors and neighborhoods. Some of our neighbors can even remember both D and I before we started dating 8 years ago so they have seen us create our family over all these years. And I think the communal aspect has been great for our little one. She's a very social creature and she loves all the people she gets to interact with in a day. Our nanny takes her out during the day and they do their rounds which means visiting our local restaurants and shops. She has friends all along our block who know her and get upset with me if she hasn't been brought by to visit in awhile. If you believe that it takes a village (which I do), then the Pepper will certainly benefit from our little downtown village.

I believe that almost all things have costs and benefits. I'm starting to think that our lives are shifting such that maybe the costs of being where we are no longer outweigh the benefits. But I can't deny that my last 8 years downtown have been wonderful and that includes the first year of the Pepper's life. Instead of focusing on the challenges, I'll continue to try to be thankful for all the great things about our lives.

Image of the the Pepper at one of our local parks from my Instagram.

Air purification like on a space station

I do not have a green thumb, which is a shame as I really enjoy the feel of having plants around. But plants don't seem to last long when in my care. In college a good friend of mine who was moving to Asia for a year entrusted me with the bonsai tree he had grown and raised himself. Sadly, it did not last long enough to see his return. And people often gift me beautiful orchids that don't last. Most recently, my brother gave me a cool air plant for Christmas, that I realized today had died. Sigh.

Luckily I live in walking distance to LA's Flower District so the Pepper and I took a stroll down there today as I wanted to find something to put in the great vase the air plant came in. I was talking to one of the vendors about indoor plants that are really easy to take care of. I was looking at a bunch of leafy green plants undecided on which one to get when he pointed out the the Peace Lily is great for improving air quality. Apparently NASA is always looking for ways to clean the air in space stations and certain plants are particularly good at eliminating air toxins.

So I was sold! Even though optimal air cleaning is accomplished with at least one plant per 100 square feet of home or office space, I'm going to start with the one and see if I can keep it alive. Wish me luck!

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The art of the imperfect

As a new blogger I'm exploring this new medium and one of the things I think about is what and how much of my life to share. Recent blog posts by Sydney and Joy have me reflecting on this. One of the reasons I decided to blog was to feel part of the community of female bloggers. These posts by fellow moms are a perfect example.

What I got from these posts is that everyone struggles. We may not share all the details of our lives, and we may not talk about the darker times, as those are usually the most intimate. But these other woman have full lives as mothers, wives, friends, daughters, sisters, while also working in one way or another. The same things I try to balance in my life. And of course there is the time we all need for ourselves! There are days when I feel I am succeeding. And there are others when I feel I've gotten things completely wrong. Most days are somewhere in the middle.

I love being a wife to my husband. I love being a mom to my daughter. I hold my friendships very dear. And I value family. I appreciate taking time to myself (something that helps me deal with stress). I also enjoy working and being able to support my family. I try to focus on the enjoyment of these things in the moments I'm in them, and not think about what I'm missing while I'm focused on one and not the other.

When the Pepper was still very little, I spoke to a dear friend recently after I went back to work about the guilt of not being with her more. My friend, another working mom, said that guilt was just going to be part of things now. But, she also assured me that I was doing a great job and that even though I was going to feel guilt, it wasn't something I needed to feel. It was so understanding and accepting and honest. When I have moments of doubt I think back to that conversation, and to all the women struggling to find balance in their lives.

Discovering blue cheese

I've never been a blue cheese fan. But lately I've discovered that even if it's not something I enjoy on it's own, it's a wonderful addition to a recipe. It adds a great little tang. Plus, it's always nice to do something a little different.

Girls, gender colors, and princess culture

We decided not to find out the gender of our baby while we were pregnant. And it was funny to me how often people asked "but what color clothes are you going to buy for it?". Seems to me that there are lots of colors that a baby can wear that aren't pink or blue. But we as a culture seem to have certain ideas about gender and what each gender should be. But a good reminder that these things are subjective is this article which notes that until the 1940s boys were actually encouraged to wear pink and girls blue!

Caffeine

I really enjoy a good cup of English tea. I have not taken to the taste of coffee. But my mom's British colony background meant tea was a staple in our household. And a strong cup of black tea definitely gives me the caffeine jolt I sometimes need. But, D has been encouraging me to give it up for years.