The Pepper Report

Celebrating Mother's Day yesterday has me thinking about my little one. Seemed time to do another update on my beautiful, funny, strong-willed little girl:

• A couple days before your first birthday you started walking, and I feel like you haven't stopped. As one friend of mine noted: right now it's all about walking around and touching stuff. That's how you like to spend your days. I think you've even achieved a run a few times when excitedly being chased by your daddy. It's great that you are so much more independent now. But it also means we need to be on our game.
• You still put everything in your mouth! I had hoped we would have passed this stage by now. Especially now that you are so mobile my biggest concern is you finding things and sticking them in your mouth. And it happens all the time. And then I need to fight with you to get them out of your mouth. And then you get upset. It's not the best dynamic. Hopefully you'll move on from this fascination soon.
• You really want to communicate with us. You are paying so much attention to what we say and how we say it. You try to mimic us. And I can just see that you have things you want us to understand. Right now your most used word is probably "ball" but you also just learned "more" and while I'm proud of you it's a double-edged sword. Because you of course always want more of everything :)
• Speaking of balls, they are your favorite toy. You like carrying them around, throwing them, chasing them, giving them to other people, collecting them. I think I need to diversify your ball collection though so I'm probably going to get you one of these.
• You love a good party. This last Saturday we attended a pool party with probably 30-40 attendees and you were so in your element. You worked the room and charmed everyone. You were happy to hang out with with the ladies in the jacuzzi or swim around the pool with the other kids. There was even some fire spinning at the end of the night to entertain you. I'm sorry not every day can be like for you but I'm glad they at least happen every so often!
• You are ravenous. The amount you eat astounds me. We have to order a full third meal now when we go out. I love that you no longer eat any kind of baby food and just feed yourself small pieces of whatever we eat. But it also means I can very easily on any given night watch you consume a full quesadilla. I guess it's all the calories you are burning from walking. And I want you to have the energy you need to keep growing! I'm just in awe of your appetite. Unfortunately you have also become pickier in your food choices now that you feed yourself and it's a bit harder to get you to eat your veggies. Luckily apple sauce still serves as a way to sneak veggies in.
• You are doing well when it comes to sleeping. You generally sleep through the night (9pm-7am). Sometimes you wake up if you've lost your pacifier and can't find it on your own. It makes me want to wean you off your pacifier which you only use at night now anyway. I keep talking about doing this, but I am intimidated by what I know will be some rough nights as we go through the transition. I just have to be brave and pick a weekend and go for it.

Tomorrow the Pepper will be 14 months old. Sometimes I want her to stop growing and just stay the size she is now forever. But I'm also excited to get to know her as she gets older! It's a fun exciting age right now. I hope the fun continues.

Image from the pool party this last weekend.

Favorites from around the web...

1. I like to try to reduce waste so I love these tips. I now have scraps saved in my freezer right now for vegetable broth.

2. Another reminder that Los Angeles isn't so bad :)

3. Really honest account of one woman's experience.

4. This is beautiful and romantic.

5. I had no idea about this tradition until now. I'm fascinated by the idea. Is it sweet? Is it creepy? Both?

6. This guy is doing a wonderful thing. He's combining compassion and smart design in order to help other people.

7. This is a great idea! We don't have any family photos together right now and I'd love to change that.

8. Loving this fun look at various cultures through language. "Ilunga" may be my favorite.

9. This is such a smart idea of a wedding registry.

10. I've so far visited only one of monuments shown here. I'd love to visit them all.

Image via.

Favorite quick lunch

Even though I grew up in California I only recently discovered a taste for avocados. Since my dad is from the East Coast and my mom is from Africa, they just weren't part of our family diet. But I'm so glad avocados have come into my life. Not only are they super healthy, they help me put together quick meals. Working at home it is crucial for me to be able to throw something easy together in the middle of my busy work days. And one of my favorite quick lunches is toast topped with avocado.

But I have a trick (that I stole from these guys) to make avocado toast even tastier: coconut oil. Spread some coconut oil on the toast underneath the avocado. It's a subtle addition but it matches the avocado so nicely and gives it some depth. Top the avocado with a pinch of salt and you've got a great lunch!

Image from my instagram.

Knowing your value

Have you read Mika Brzezinski's book "Knowing Your Value"? If you are a working women I highly recommend it. It was something D bought for me when I was thinking about how to best move forward in my career and it really helped me put things in perspective.

Mika's story is that she discovered that she was making significantly less than her co-worker, for doing the same job. Instead of blaming the company she decided to look at how she had found herself in that situation. In both her self-exploration and her research into woman in the workforce there seemed to be a common thread of women under-valuing themselves. Of course this isn't true for everyone, but women tend to not ask for competitive salaries. They don't ask for raises. They don't feel comfortable negotiating. They have trouble standing up for themselves. And I certainly fall in this category. Asking for a raise is something I dread doing. But it's so important.

Even though I read Mika's book years ago now, there are things she said that have really stayed with me. One is that managers are looking to get their employees for as little money as possible. Helping the company make better profits is part of a manager's job. So, if a manager can get you for a lower salary, they will. Therefore you need to be your own advocate when it comes to your compensation. The other thing she noted is that if, as a woman, you are the breadwinner of the family, then what you make directly impacts your family's quality of life. If you don't ensure you are making a fair wage, then your family's finances are not as strong. As the current breadwinner of my family I think of this a every time I think about my career path. Mika also touches on tricks for negotiating which I have used myself. 

I think this book is a must read for any women, even those that aren't working. It touches on some of the key differences between men and women and how that can effect our social interactions. Valuable stuff to keep in mind!

Image via.

Being away

I'm traveling for work right now, something I need to do periodically. My company is based in Cleveland and I had to fly in for a management meeting. It's always really great to be in the office. Having the team together feels so productive and collaborative. It strengthens our existence as a team working toward a common goal and shared success. I feel energized and excited about my work after spending time with my colleagues in our office.

But it's hard to be away. I've taken a few trips since the Pepper's birth, usually work related, and this one has been the hardest. When she was younger being away didn't feel as crucial. She was less aware, and she slept so much of the time I didn't feel I was missing too much. I was able to feel ok about being gone from her. But this trip feels different. She's changed so much in the last few months. She's so much more engaged with us. She knows what's going on. Plus, she's in her separation anxiety stage. So I miss her! I miss playing with her and reading to her. And I feel like I'm missing out on her discovery of her world and herself. And I worry she misses me.

I know it's illogical to worry. I know she'll be fine. I know it's ok for me to be away (just 2 days!) and I know she won't be emotionally scared. I know these things. But it's hard to feel them sometimes.

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Changes to routine

So far, being a parent feels like it's all about adapting to change. We'll be going along and we'll have things in order. We'll have plans and a clear idea of how things go. We'll have steps we take and we'll know what to expect. Then suddenly, we need to learn a whole new system.

The last month has felt like a huge shift. Maybe it's because the Pepper reached that year mark and this is normal. But it's taking me time to catch-up. For the last several months the little one has taken a morning nap and then played with the nanny until I'm done with work around 3:30pm (I work East Coast hours). Then I give her a snack and read to her until she goes down for her second nap. During her second nap I can fold laundry, catch up on more work, or sometimes even nap myself! I would often get jealous that the nanny gets the play time and I get the nap time. But I had worked this routine into my expectations for my days. Then one day the other week the Pepper decided she didn't need two naps a day anymore. Suddenly, one afternoon nap was the new norm. I'm thrilled to have more awake hours with her, but it's also thrown off my days. I no longer have an hour or so to myself in the afternoons. Now it goes from work right to mothering until bedtime. I feel less productive, but also more fatigued at the end of the day. I'm hoping it's just an adjustment period.

Another big change that seemed to happen all of a sudden: bed time. Especially since I went back to work so soon after her birth I took her bedtime as quality cuddle time. When it was time for sleep I would hold her and rock her and sing to her until she closed her eyes. And then I'd often hold her several more minutes just to enjoy the closeness. It seemed to be something we both enjoyed, until the Pepper changed her mind. One night she started wriggling during our cuddle to the point where I just had to put her down in her crib where she eventually went to sleep by herself. I know this is a good thing. Even while I enjoyed our old routine and the physical intimacy of it I knew it couldn't last. I knew she would eventually get too big and I worried about how to transition to putting her in the crib to go to sleep. I was worried about upsetting her with the change. So I feel lucky she instigated this change on her own! Now I'm the one adjusting: I miss our bedtime snuggles.

Some change will sadly still need to be imposed. Breaking the Pepper of her pacifier habit intimidates me. She looooves that thing. But I feel like getting rid of it would help her sleep better at night. Weaning her off of it is going to be painful...

Photo from a few days ago. The pepper was showing off her tongue to some neighbors :)

Kitchen helpers

Seeing Jordan's great pantry renovation made me think of the things we've done to improve out kitchen. We don't have a big space so we haven't done anything major, but we've made some small additions that have helped us navigate our kitchen.

Once we had the Pepper we started eating at home much more, and it made me realize our kitchen was not very efficient. The first thing we did was along the lines of what Jordan did in her pantry: got nice jars to use for dry food storage. Before, we had a bunch of bags stored in other zip lock bags piled on top of each other and it was hard to find anything. Now that we've implemented the jars things are more visible and therefore easy to find. I added simple white labels on the lids too since our pantry is long and dark and I can't always see the contents of the jars. It has also helped me know what I have so I don't keep buying whole walnuts.

Another item that has helped our kitchen efficiency: a salad spinner. I can't believe we went so long without having one. Especially now that we often get lettuce in our CSA it's been essential to be able to throw together a quick salad. And eating salads is something that should have no barriers.

But, the best thing we did to making cooking easier was get a Spice Organizer. I had dreams of cool and creative ways to store spices. I imagined having a great looking metal wall with all the spices in magnetic containers lined up neatly. But the reality was that we just couldn't do any big overhaul so I bought this straightforward version that would fit into one of our cupboards, and it's amazing. I can actually see what spices I have and I can find them easily. I use it every day and every day I am thankful for it.

Any other suggestions on small changes to make kitchen's and pantries more efficient?

Image via. I love these hanging baskets but not sure they would work in our current place.